There are days when I long for a different life. This is one of them.
She did not sleep well last night.
She was more incontinent than ever before.
The shear repetition of care partner activities tends to grind.
Dementia can be debilitating. Those struggling with dementia do not know it.
Memory loss too. She becomes more frustrated as the evening wears on.
Conversation is tough. There are bright spots as stories are made up on the fly.
Delusional behavior is stressful for the deluded and the helper. Deluded minds have a different reality.
I suppose yesterday I was very tired. When she does not sleep, nor do I.
There was extra laundry in the morning and sometimes one needs to goof off.
There were extra things to do that day. I do not always feel like doing extra but it is still there to do.
It is relentless and constant. Relentless and constant.
So yesterday I longed for a different life and I do so every few days but yesterday it seemed worse somehow.
Carpe lament diem.