Early Monday morning 3/25/19 Cheryl experienced hallucinations again. The hallway became a beach. Kids without faces were running around. The bed sheets became liquid like water. Ceiling tiles squiggly lines like snakes. She told me that I had on funny clothes, but I had on jeans and a shirt.
She is sleeping now. It is 5:57AM. She just snored. She seems peaceful now.

What is love?

It can be many things. In the darkness of the night, perhaps it is patience. With little sleep comes paranoia, delusions and confusion. Love is staying awake to protect her, so she can sleep.

What is love?

Delusions come and are temporary. Love is a lifetime.

What is love?

It is simply putting someone else first. Yourself second.

What is love?

It is a mental state. It is more than physical. It is a devotion. A consuming ideal of dedication to another person’s well-being. Words provide little justice to the state of love.

What is love?

It is not that giddy giggly fealing inside when you see the one you love, that is prescient to the knowledge that you are both here, together in the state of love.

What is love?

Love is a collection of feelings too complex and too simple for an easy description. It is a communion of emotions and actions. It is bazaar in its entanglements. It is a devotion to someone not you.

What is love?

Anxiety and late evening symptoms took us to the hospital. Tightness in Cheryl’s chest.

It’s hard to get away from the fact that Parkinson’s doesn’t define your life and your spouse’s life when it consumes so much time. Today was a consuming day. Cheryl is oftentimes frustrated by the fact that what worked previously to help her feel better does not work this time. The principle medication Sinemet is only 60% effective. She has a symptom of being unable to release gas bubbles from her but without a great deal of effort.

Most of us burp and fart with ease. It’s a natural and normal activity. If it’s loud and offensive we excuse ourself politely and are slightly embarrassed. In Cheryl’s case it is painful, nauseating, and debilitating. All activity stops until the situation is releaved. On some days Coca Cola works to provide the relief needed. Some days it is Tums. Some days it’s laying down. Some days all three. It is consuming.