Cheryl’s Parkinson’s disease interlaced with dementia has taken a turn to the negative over the past three months. It is tough but necessary for us to explore extra help and other options to our living situation.

I feel a sense of sadness. It is not exactly that I have failed because I recognize in my heart that her disease has a progression. I suppose it is a progression that I had not anticipated.

I also feel a sense of relief, an acceptance of the fact that I cannot do it all alone anymore. I recognize that we have to do something different. That first recognition came when I decided to buy a new bed and change our sleeping arrangements. At least, I thought a split king would keep us from awakening each other at night.

We drifted off to bed about 10 PM after watching a couple of her favorite shows on television and visiting with her sister for a couple hours. We probably eventually fell asleep about 10:30. Overnight I got up to go to the toilet twice and the second time around 3 AM she got up with me and seemed as though she wanted to stay up. I had prepared to sleep on the sofa bed we had and then she came out looking for me. We had our often discussion about church and I suggested we lay down for two more hours and then get up. She got up at quarter til noon.

I got up around 8:30. It was bliss.

I took the time to call the assisted living facility nearby that had housed both of our mothers at the end of their life. I still refuse to believe that we are here yet BUT it does not hurt to find out about various options to move forward from here.

I also set up a couple doctor appointments. She is having problems hearing occasionally. And I wonder about a UTI.

Carpe Diem.