Oftentimes my immediate reaction to unsolicited advice is to ignore it because I assume that the advisor has their heart in the right place. Pushy people can insist that I’m doing it wrong but it is possible to listen past this and hunt for the useful nuggets of information.
Today Jane apologized for jumping up to find Cheryl a different cup to put her soft drink into at the pizza store last Tuesday. It was both unsolicited and surprising. I ignored it and when she came back with a coffee mug I poured part of Cheryl’s drink into it. It was a good solution and Jane’s apology and later her admonishment when I said that it was unnecessary reminded me that I am not the only solver of problems. Jane’s background is special education with kids that have special needs and although Cheryl is not on of those, some of the same rules apply.
For quite some time now I have been merely moving Cheryl’s giant plastic glass of soft drink away from any gyrations that occur with her hands as she engages in conversation. It never occurred to me to merely request a smaller additional glass to put her coke in. Something that was easier to deal with. AHA (dammit I missed that one.)
Paul, I need the juice size glass for my drinks, not because my gestures are wild, but because my hands are so weak, I can’t grip the large cups, so if there is any weight in the cup, I’d lose it. We’re all still learning.
I learn new things all the time. Her dementia sometimes prevents us from communicating effectively. I am going to be smarter about drinks.