Kardia Mobile

This company wants me to buy a device that pretty much tells me I am not dead yet. I already know that. I run to the store and run to the library and run to the doctor fairly often. I am pretty sure I am still running okay and not dead.

Many people, probably most, spend a great deal of time running here and there. It is ingrained in us. We chide each other if we are not active. But instead of running what if we took a deep breath and stopped to look around at God’s wonder of Spring and the renewal of life. It happens every year. It is truly amazing.

Breathe and notice the world. Run for exercise and health but do it outside where He can show you His wonder.

Run: Carpe Diem.

A Manual for Life

Wouldn’t it be great if there is a manual for living? Wouldn’t it be great if there is a book that tells one how to do everything. Wouldn’t it be great if there is book that tells one what to do different when something goes wrong? It would be like an appliance troubleshooting page in the operator manual.

But life is not like that. It would be great if it was but it is not. I am ecstatic when I find one of these charts because any problem I have is rarely on the chart.

In my working career I occasionally helped to create charts like these for industrial machinery but there is no such manual or chart for life. There are however lots of pious platitudes. Social media platforms are full of them.

This last one with the turtle has become my mantra of a sort. Forward is forward. Progress is progress. With chronic degenerative disease one can maintain hope for a cure, that being said, it can be more useful to accept the situation and play the hand that was dealt to you. (My very own platitude.) Forward is forward.

Carpe Diem.

The Goat is Right

Stephan T. Patsis is a favorite cartoonist. His signature work, “Pearls Before Swine” is the cartoon in the comic section of the local newspaper that I read first when my wife hands me the funnies and says, “There are some funny funnies today.”

You have to choose to be happy. The goat who is somewhat intellectual and thought provoking tells rat. An absolutely true statement from a smart goat. One does choose to be happy and no one else can make that choice for you.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. – Desiderata by Max Hermann

Choose to be happy.

Carpe Diem.

Let There Be PIE

Mavis is here building the apple pie – as I wrote on Friday. This is the end result. We took it to Anna’s house for Easter dinner. The pie dish is now in the dishwasher. All is well.

Cheryl told me today that we should get a deep dish pie pan for Mavis for her birthday.

This particular pan came from my mother’s house, so, it has some history. It also has a recipe for quiche that I think I want to try. Quiche is pie with a different flavor, savory rather than sweet.

Pardon the apple pie shrapnel

Quiche Lorraine: 1 C. shredded Swiss cheese, 1/2 lb. bacon fried and crumbled (I interpreted 1/2 16 as 1/2 lb.), 2 C. half and half or milk, 4 eggs, 1/8 teaspoon red or white pepper, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/3 C. minced onion, 1/4 tsp. sugar. Preheat the oven to 425° F and prep pastry. Sprinkle cheese, bacon and onion in pie plate. Beat eggs & blend in the remaining ingredients. Pour cream and egg mixture into the dish. Bake for 15 minutes, reduce heat to 300° F, bake 25 to 30 minutes until a knife inserted comes out clean. Let stand for ten minutes before serving in wedges.

Let there be pie!

Carpe Diem.

3 o’clock in the morning at 3 O’clock In The Morning

Three O’clock in the Morning is a novel by Gainrico Carofiglio. A story of a teenager who makes a trip to France with his estranged mathematician father to be cured of his epilepsy and ends up learning about his father in an intimate way during two days without sleep.

“Who were epileptics?” I asked, realizing that this
was the first time I’d managed to say the word.

‘Just to give a few examples: Aristotle, Pascal,
Edgar Allan Poe, Dostoevsky, Handel, Julius Caesar,
Flaubert, Maupassant, Berlioz, Newton, Moliére,
Tolstoy, Leonardo da Vinci, Beethoven, Michelangelo,
Socrates, Van Gogh.”

I processed this information.

It’s strange how the same thing, exactly the same
thing, can make us feel so different depending on
how we see it, the mental context in which we put it.

Ever since I’d been diagnosed with it, epilepsy had
been, as far as I was concerned, a stigma, a sign of
inferiority, a disgraceful blemish that had to be
hidden. After Gastaut’s words, after hearing that list
of geniuses who had all apparently had a problem
similar to mine, my inner world now turned a
hundred and eighty degrees, as if moving from
darkness to light. I had felt like a reject, and, all at
once, for the very same material reason, I felt almost
one of the chosen, a member of a special category of
superior beings.

“Please sign your drawing,” Gastaut said, in an
almost formal tone. I signed it, and it seemed natural
to me, as if I were signing a contract with my new life,
which was starting at that moment.

He stood up, shook hands with us, repeated that
he would see us again in three years and walked us to
the door.

— from the novel.

I found myself reading it at three o’clock Monday morning. At 2:30 am Cheryl was awake and longer able to sleep.

Bummer.

She ate a doughnut and some cereal. She drank some orange juice. I read my book for a bit. How appropriate, I thought. We did the Wordle. It was four in the morning. We went back to bed at four.

I was awakened by the EXTREMELY LOUD AND ANNOYING alarm clock at seven. I fetched her pills. She took them and we returned to bed.

At 7:30 am she arose to get dressed for school. I got up and finished the story. Not a crime novel which is my usual genre. I did not remember that I had finished the Wordle.

Double bummer.

Carpe Diem.

I Often Read Maria Shriver

She writes uplifting and spiritual thoughts in a weekly email newsletter she calls “Sunday Paper”. Today she writes about changes in life. She struck a chord in me but probably not in the way that she intended.

This Parkinson thing is a dramatic change in our life. Maria uses as her focus a friend that is moving far away and talks of pivoting toward the future. What struck me is Cheryl is moving away inside. Not purposely of course but this morning the conversation centered on location and space. She believes inside her head that we are far away from home. She asked are we going home today?

Home is a concept different to everyone. I told Cheryl as I always do when she asks this, we are home. We live here. Sometimes I go into more detail and tell her when we moved. She has a puzzled look on her face when I tell her those things. Sometimes I regret moving out of our big old house in Pleasant Ridge when we have these conversations but I have no basis for regret. She is confused now and most likely would be if we were still living in the big old house.

To me home is not so much a place as a situation. If one “googles” home the famous web search returns thousands of pictures of various houses in various places but a building is not home. Those houses may or may not be home to others.

Cheryl is where I am home. Our life was unimaginable to me when we got married 51 years ago.

On this snowy slowly warming February Sunday I am reminiscing about life and home and the twisty turny path we all follow though life. And that is my concept of home.

She sometimes thinks that we are not home. I am as long as I am with her somewhere.

A boy, a fox, a mole and a horse – great book for meditation

Carpe Diem.

An Icy Day in February

The puzzle is completed. Hallelujah! Kill the fatted calf. The Christmas 2017 puzzle is complete. So, now the question is what to do with it? I suggested that she break it into the tiny little pieces she started with and pass them on to her sister Nancy. She is still thinking about it but that is probably what will happen.

Who knows maybe this is a new hobby. It certainly is an occupation once it starts. Cheryl seemed very content while this whole process was happening. Cindy is an enthusiastic cheerleader and champion during the activity. I was not gone for a long time but when I came home they were puzzling away.

I started dinner. I had been out in the rain that we had ahead of the icy wet snowy crap that came today. While out I decided it was a good day for stuff soup.

Stuff soup:

  • 2 small onions chopped
  • several (5) carrots pealed and chopped
  • several (4) small potatoes pealed and quartered
  • several (5) stalks of celery chopped
  • a head of broccoli chopped – the stems are good in soup the flowers tend to disintegrate like peas.
  • the end of the bag of frozen corn (maybe ½ C.)
  • half a cup or so of frozen peas.
  • ½ lb. of mystery beef – bought out of the get rid of it soon shelf at IGA – chopped int ½ in. cubes
  • some whole wheat pasta for health reasons.

In a dutch oven put about 2 tablespoons of olive oil and dump in the onions. Stir them when they start to sizzle. Rinse the carrots and celery and when you are satisfied with the onions, let them brown a bit, dump in the beef. Brown the beef for awhile and enjoy the aroma. When the kitchen smells like a good diner, dump in the celery and carrots. Stir it up for a bit and put the lid on and give it a few minutes. This is a good time for a little salt and pepper to taste.

When you are ready dump in a box (32 oz.) of whatever broth you like. I used beef broth here. Bring it all to a boil and start the oven set to 300F.

Dump in the frozen peas, corn and chop the broccoli into small pieces. When it starts to boil again, dump in the broccoli and put the lid back on and stick in the oven for 30 minutes or so.

Add the healthy pasta at the end of 30 minutes and set the timer for 10 minutes more. Set the table and find some rye bread to go with everything. Put out the butter, bowls, silverware, etc.

Sit down in the kitchen to eat so that the puzzle can be viewed from afar. It is better to leave the dining table undisturbed. Speak to the small children attempting to mess with the puzzle even if you cannot see them.

Maybe I should look for the special table to build the puzzle on. I kind of liked having dinner at the dining table. We sat closer to the little apparition girls and I could chase them away as necessary while eating. The little girls seem to show up a lot at dinner time.

Everyone is smiles when the puzzle gets finished.

Carpe Diem.

It takes Time

Many months ago Cheryl started on this puzzle. I wrote about it before. I could figure out exactly how long ago but the specific span of time is actually unimportant to the story. Last week when Cindy came to sit with Cheryl for a bit so that I could go do whatever I wanted to do by myself, I said to her that she could help Cheryl with this puzzle that she has been ignoring for months. I said that thinking that it would go over like the proverbial lead balloon – what is a lead balloon? – but Cindy is an enthusiastic puzzle doer and she sucked Cheryl along with her. I left to do a couple errands and take a walk.

Two hours or so later when I returned Cindy and Cheryl had not moved from the spots alongside the dining table where I unrolled the puzzle and reinflated the tube that the felt surface was wrapped around with the trapped puzzle pieces. Cindy had Cheryl hard at work sorting pieces of like color and they had assembled several chunks of pieces to figure out where they fit in the picture that came with the puzzle. They did not finish it that day. It is a half thousand pieces of a complex image of small town Christmas.

The picture when completed

Lots of colors are involved. We bought this puzzle several years ago. I think we may have had it for a couple years by the time the pandemic broke into pandemonium everywhere. It came from a Barnes & Noble book store that we happened to be shopping in for one of the grandkids. Cheryl passed by the puzzles parked in the aisle and was inspired to retell the story about someone at Bridgeway Pointe assisted living facility who worked puzzles all the time and lived down the hallway from her mother. I remarked that she should pick one out to do for herself and she selected this Christmas scene.

Leaving it on the dining table is somewhat of an inconvenience at dinner time as I had gotten into setting the dining room area for two. We had used mostly the kitchen table when we first moved into the new condo and reserved the dining table for company. As I took on most of the cooking duties I decided to use the dining area more instead of preserving it for non-existent company. Had we stayed in our old house I suspect that I would have gotten to this point there also. For now, we are back in the kitchen for dinner.

For several days after Cindy’s inspiration we walked around the puzzle on the table awaiting Cindy’s return. I did not mention it. Cheryl once suggested that she could put it in her office and I persuaded her that it was not in the way of anything. She was worried that her little people that she sees occasionally would disturb it but they have not. Last evening she started to work on it. It was a spontaneous move on her part. She worked on it for a bit. I texted this picture to Cindy. She responded with, “Great! Don’t let her finish it without me.” There is not much danger of that, Cindy.

I checked on her during the evening. She worked on it for about an hour. She found two pieces that seemed to fit together but they did not. I was able to help her find a couple pieces and fit them somewhere in the picture.

Her memory seems to be going faster. She looks at a piece and as she looks at the picture the shape is lost in her visual memory. It is a long process.

Carpe Diem.

January Eight

I am not a huge sports fan, so, should I write or should I read? On that day I elected to read after hanging the new calendar on her office door, putting away most of the Christmas decorations and helping her finish a batch of cookies. It was a pleasant two hours of downtime before preparation for church.

Church was sadly uninviting as the pastor is out with illness due to covid. We are back to socially distanced mask wearing in a gathering of perhaps eighty people in a building that holds 450 but has not experienced that level of participation for many years prior to the whole pandemic pandemonium.


So today is January 9, 2022. I checked with Cheryl and it is time for the three kings to go back to the orient. But the storage area is actually slightly west of where they are displayed this morning. Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar (or Casper) are their names according to Western church tradition. Balthasar is often represented as a king of Arabia or sometimes Ethiopia, Melchior as a king of Persia, and Gaspar as a king of India. So, maybe, the fact that the bucket and the storage area is west makes little difference. It is a much shorter walk than the guy going back to India.

Guys chasing a suspected super nova…

The past week has been a bit of a trial. Cheryl has been having trouble sleeping through the night. It is a common issue with Parkinson’s disease. As a consequence during the day she is easily upset, occasionally moody, somewhat apathetic, quick to anger and often fatigued. The rivastigmine was making her nauseated so it was discontinued. She has been taking quetiapine (Seraquel) and in working with her nurse practitioner we are slowly changing the dosage and timing of that to help with sleep. It is an annoying process but it seems to be working sort of.

Last evening we made blueberry muffins for Sunday breakfast today and for awhile she sat with me to watch our used to be favorite CBS Sunday Morning show. She has not sat and watched this show with me for any length of time for many months. It used to be our Sunday morning activity after returning from church.

Times change and I suppose I am attempting to preserve as much of the routine as possible while we travel this Parkinson’s journey. I do miss watching various pieces with her and commenting about it.

As her memory, creeping dementia and other odd behaviors appear it is incumbent on me to not correct her or even explain those behaviors to others. Her friends all know what she is dealing with. I do not have to remind them. People will show kindness or not. Total strangers can be remarkably kind and generous. Maybe because Cheryl navigates with a cane in her hand.

Carpe Diem!