Month: March 2023

Dog, Cup, Rainbow

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Like many old retired folks we have a Medicare advantage plan. When I investigated these a few years age I came to the conclusion that the United Healthcare plans offered through AARP seemed to be appropriate for our needs. There have been several adjustments and realignments over the past several years and I am not in any way an insurance expert but so far the system has worked for us. United Healthcare has a feature that sends a nurse practitioner once a year to visit to check their clients if they want to participate. Participation is voluntary. Cynical me wonders what benefit the insurance company receives from visiting it clients but practical me says there is some benefit otherwise they would have no reason to pay a skilled NP to drive around the countryside to visit clients. There is no altruism in corporate america. I agreed to a visit by Whitney on Thursday of this week.

UHC Housecalls (Whitney) came to visit that day. We went through all the medications that Cheryl takes for Parkinson and my few meds for high cholesterol and too much eyeball pressure. There is a modified MOCA test – draw a clock, remember three words while drawing the clock. The normal blood pressure, heart rate and lung listening happens as in any wellness visit. There is also a clip on gadget and an app that runs on Whitney’s laptop that produces circulation information. Good news we are both alive! And one of us could remember the three words.

In addition to Whitney coming to visit, so did Nancy, a friend of Cheryl’s from church. In fact Cheryl has had a different someone come to visit every day this week. It has been busy and that tires her out.

Cheryl was showing signs of exhaustion on Wednesday. In the evening about 11:30 pm she needed to go home. I was heartbroken that night and tired myself from the time change. The impostor (Capgras) delusion seems to appear about once every two weeks. I put her in the car and drove her around the block. I am usually terrified that this time it will not work. This night it did (still).

Today it was hard but busy. Writing this on Thursday, I wrote that I forgot her pills at 1 pm.  Damn. That will mess up her mobility and her mind. Later on Thursday I noted — it is almost 8 PM and I think she is back to her normal for now.

Cheryl could not complete the modified MOCA test on Thursday. Today, Friday, she went to lunch with her friend Barb. The week of visits, no matter how well intentioned, is over.

Tonight we went out to get dinner at one of our favorite little restaurants. St. Patrick’s Day pub crawls where in full swing on Friday night. [Éirinn go Brách] The food was good and the crowd was raucous and loud. St. Pat showed up on the second day of March madness.

Carpe Erin Diem.

More Things Learned

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In my little book – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Parkinson – I have a section where I note things that I have learned along the way as Cheryl and travel this road of Sam Parkinson.

Today it occurs to me that although I want Cheryl to get up and get going to exercise class because it appears to me that she actually likes this exercise class and although she got up late she still has time, suggestion is the only tool I have to motivate her. Any comments beyond – if you still want to go to exercise class you still have time – reminds her that it was her idea and answers her unspoken question of, is there still time? – are useless comments and could make her feel that I am being pushy.

If she senses that I am being pushy she will resist it every time.

Another technique that I use but often forget about is what I call bump and run. I can use the fact of her really poor short term memory to plant an idea.

This morning it occurred to me in addition to using suggestion as a way to get her thinking about getting up, if she did not I should just let go and not worry about it. I understand why it is good for parkies to exercise but she is not always interested. If she perceives it as her idea, she is in, if not, forget about it.

We made it

I realized that I can switch from encouragement to nag-o-ment if I do not pay attention.

Carpe science Diem.

Scary Morning

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Thank god for day light saving time.

I could not wake her up. Never mind that it was the first day of the idiot time change. We did not have to travel to have the powers that be declare it to be an hour different than it was.

Cheryl slept poorly two nights previously. I was excited to get her to bed without too much fuss. I could tell she was tired, very tired. At dinner she was hallucinogenic. She spent some time discussing dinner with a little brown haired girl who was inside her head and did not answer when she she asked questions.

With her walker I got her to the toilet and sat her down. I thought that perhaps we might not make it. I changed her clothes with no help from her. She would not or could not open her eyes. I dug out the transfer chair to roll her to the table in the kitchen. I got her to take her first meds one at a time. She was awake but not awake. Breakfast was a non-starter for awhile. I rolled her to her recliner and got her it it.

I turned on one of the Sunday morning newsy shows I saved on the cable box. I turned it up so she could hear it. And I watched her for a bit. I left her seated in recliner and did a few chores like dress the bed.

She was awake when I came back 30 minutes later. She was watching the show.

As the day goes on she relates periods of delusional thoughts. And as we talked about those things she has begun to exhibit lucidity.

It is a very very strange version of the disease of Parkinson that Cheryl has.

Carpe Diem.

Tonight for the First Time

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Tonight at dinner for the first time she carried on a conversation with an apparition that she saw at the dinner table.

I invented a new recipe – Macaroni and cheese with chicken – she liked it. She even raved about it. Then she proceeded to discuss this casserole with a small brown haired girl that she saw at our kitchen table. We have a small kitchen with no external lighting so when I changed the ceiling fixtures a couple years ago I selected a couple of flat square LED fixtures that produce 5000 lumens each. It is bright. There was no child with us. There is very little shadow except directly under the small table we have there. I know the girl had brown hair because I asked. I asked Cheryl not the girl.

Cheryl asked her how she liked it. And then responded, “So, you are not going to answer?” after she had waited for a bit. To Cheryl this girl was very vivid. She did not look at me and recognize the astonishment on my face. For several minutes she quizzed the little girl about the food.

Eventually the little girl left us. I did not ask where.

Cheryl did not invite her for ice cream. We had that for dessert.

Cheryl did not sleep much last night. Her hallucinations are strong when that happens. It has been a very weird day. I tried to keep up with the strange conversation. Some stories are made up out of whole cloth. In “What Rose Forgot”, a novel by Nevada Barr, the writer describes that Rose’s memories fell into her head like rocks from a skip loader or similar analogy. In Cheryl’s case chunks of old career work experience, high school and her early computer system help with the grade school our children were in, sort of commingle in the narrative. A simple “ah huh” or “no kidding” keeps the narrative developing as we drive to somewhere.

In church tonight I noticed that she looked at the same page of the church bulletin all through mass. Somehow I could tell that the words were meaningless to her. It saddened me.

Carpe Diem.

Pieces of a Life

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Cheryl has in her office files a phenomenal amount of random keepings of the pieces of her life and ours together. In her current state of Parkinson she will look through, take out, put back and reorganize these as she sees fit on certain days.

Pieces can come out of the office and land on the dinning room table for perusal and examination. A few days ago a real estate listing for our previous house appeared on the table papercliped to a receipt for home owners insurance for the first month that we lived there in 1980. If only I had been more interested in preserving the history of our small family I might be able to help her with discussions that begin “remember when… ?” I am disappointed in myself when I cannot help her. Much of that, for me, is lost in a fog of work, kids, school events, soccer games, parental worry, ( et al. ) none of which was collected in my memory with great detail.

I was adult then. Why can I not recall details like she can even through the mist of Parkinson? – although she has lost other memories.

Yesterday we went on one of our trips to a new place for lunch. She seemed to be doing well mentally and physically.

Tuesday we visited with her neurologist (MDS) which meant that Monday night through Tuesday morning she slept little. She was anxious to not miss the appointment. The rest of Tuesday and much of Wednesday was used up with recovery from lack of sleep, showtime for the NP, meds adjustments, pizza Tuesday with extra participants and simply mental fatigue.

These days her mind seems to have focused on Easter, so, much of our luncheon conversation centered on hard-boiled eggs, jellybeans, artificial grass and other items associated with Easter and Easter egg hunts. She ate her usual BLT and I had another sandwich with fires. We shared the fries. The Mason Grill was one of my favorite lunch places when I worked in my other career as engineer and Mr. Industrial Fixit guy. She remarked as we ate that she used to bring her Mom to this place and her Mom liked it. She reminisced about her mother and taking her to lunch when her mom was in assisted living.

Last evening she went to bed at the normal time and got up a few minutes later because her mind was racing around Easter services at our parish. She is unwilling to accept my premise that I will not let her miss anything important. I tell her this often. (In the background she recognizes that presence at church gatherings is not a high priority for me.) She sat at the dinning room table which has lately become her center of operations and read the church bulletin. She was very still staring at the bulletin for December 22, 2022. (I imagine inside her head her brain was struggling with Christmas : Easter : Christmas : Easter in a parkie way.) Words, dates and times lose their meaning in the evening.

I read my book for awhile longer and we went to bed at 11:15 or so.

Today I could not arouse her until 10AM. She was in the same position that she started in at 11:15 the previous night.

Another day passed.

Carpe Diem

More Food Therapy

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The trips to restaurants continue.

On Wednesday March first which is the first day of Spring in my mind and always will be, we went to Ruth’s Parkside Cafe.

At 2PM in the afternoon there is little activity. There were a couple other gray hairs there enjoying the nice weather. The weather has been pretty mild this winter. There is a line in the “Bob hearts Abishola” show on CBS where Bob blames global warming on Al Gore because before him we were just enjoying the really mild winters in Detroit. It makes me laugh but I kind of agree.

The daffodils in the back are in full bloom. They are early this year.

Cheryl had a BLT bagel. I had a red bean burrito. The Cafe has an eclectic menu. For dessert the waitress was apologetic because they were out of pie so I selected gooey butter cake and two forks. I have linked a recipe that I found for this delightful dessert. It was the highlight of our day. Cheryl talked about the cake all the way home.

Carpe the restaurant Diem.

And It is March

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Sometimes pride about the achievements of grandchildren can overwhelm. Yesterday Anna sent a copy of the letter Audrey got from the Air Force inviting her to USAF Academy summer seminar session A. Anna’s daughter is interested in the Air Force, flying and going to school in CO.

THAT IS SO COOL!

… the universe is unfolding as it should…

We are so proud of her and her achievements. Cheryl and I wish her well.

Carpe Diem