Someone posted this quote from Sir Hopkins on Facebook and it passed through my news feed today. There is a Beatles song — Eleanor Rigby — that popped into my head. … ?? …

I have lots of things to ponder. I told Alexa to play the Beatles. Music from a time when Cheryl and I were young. Their music is soothing today. Alexa selected “Let it be” for the first one to play.

This past week or so we have added two new drug therapies to Cheryl’s meds. They are working and they are not working. In a previous post, I described quetiapine for sleep. It seems to help. Melatonin helps with falling asleep. Seraquel seems to help with remaining so. Although we have had some odd episodes in the bathroom at night, it seems that she is actually asleep during these. At least, she has no memory of these in the morning.

Morning conversation often starts with her inquiring how I slept. We talk a bit about anyone that we may know or a family name that shows in the obits. And the past few mornings she has gotten up before me and had her bowl of cereal for breakfast. Sometimes she asks about overnight. Sometimes I tell her gently in my effort to determine if she has memories of anything overnight. I think the quetiapine is working. She will get up for bathroom trips but she comes back to bed. I know. I get up and go to the other bathroom. I think we are on the same schedule. (smiley face emoji here)

Ondansetron was prescribed for Cheryl’s repeated feeling of nausea after she takes her medicine. She has been taking it for a long time and apparently her stomach has become intolerant of the meds. Zofran was originally developed for those dealing with chemotherapy. It seems to be working well. Although she still lays down in the evening after taking meds at seven, she does not complain of nausea, she complains of fatigue. And that only for a short(er) period of time.

Back to Anthony’s quote

Everything is random and there are no guarantees.

http://www.goalcast.com

As a caregiver, I often find myself focused on observing Cheryl’s behavior and asking her questions about how she is feeling in that very moment. From her point of view, I am probably exhausting. From my point of view, I cannot help it. I love her so much and it tears at my heart to see how this crazy despicable disease has changed her life, mind, cognition and even her personality. Nevertheless I have to keep reminding myself to take time for myself whether that is exercise – walking or riding – or reading or journaling (now). The quote from Anthony Hopkins struck a cord with me. Another way to say it is, “Stop and smell the roses.” One cannot put too much emphasis on taking time for oneself. Balance between giving care and taking care is a delicate thing to achieve.

Ask for help before Parkinson’s sucks all the air out of the room and the day is lost. … Oh bla dee oh bla dah … life goes on! [and Eleanor Rigby is playing again]