Nothing happens without a reason.

But everything has an explanation.

Somethings require no explanation.

But somethings need a reason.

Cheryl: I went to the other bathroom because someone was using this one. Me: Who was in there? Cheryl: My sister Jan and a couple little girls.

A conversation early this morning with Cheryl. It worries me. Early in the morning she sees people moving from sleep to wakefulness.

So why does this make me so angry.

There are other things going on in my life of course. One of the residents of our condo association is in dispute with another resident that has little to do with the HOA accept that resident number one wants the HOA to fine resident number two and has chosen to communicate with the board through her lawyer. Why can’t people get along? Admittedly R2 lives above R1 and R2 has had four plumbing issues that have affected R1 but all have been repaired. Lots of intensity that boils over occasionally. Maybe that is why I am angry.

Covid-19 has everyone nervous and hunkered down at home. Cheryl and I are in the “maybe you could die” risk group. If she gets ill and lands in some hospital, she might not die but she will be off her meds and in a crazed state for some time after, not to mention during. Been there. Do not want to go back. Maybe that is why I am angry.

She decided to make potato salad for Sunday’s July the 5th celebration. We will have enough kartopfel salad for 20 people. (smiley face) And I got stuck with many of the cooking duties. Maybe that is why I am angry.

Or maybe my concern is for her and focused on her and her well-being and these side distractions keep requiring attention. Maybe that is why I am angry.

Our niece is in labor and what would ordinarily become a happy watch and wait party by family has turned into a listen for a text and read it party. (smiley face). A good distraction but not one that makes me angry. It is her first baby. A baby she has been trying to have for a long time. She has had problems with earlier pregnancies. This one is an added worry.

Seems to me that sitting at home worrying about what is next is counterproductive. I just do not know how to live life under the shadow of Parkinson’s disease and Covid-19. My go to survival mode for this kind of sedentary activity is to find a good book(s) and an author or two and read their collected works. Break that activity up with bike riding, walking or some other form of exercise and I can hunker for a long time. Through my working career it has worked when faced with some long project — work, read, sleep, repeat. I do not think it is working correctly with PD. Maybe that makes me angry.

I am charged with the task of helping someone else navigate through problems and physical difficulties not of her making. Who has cognitive disability. Who sometimes wants to do crazy shit like make enough potato salad for twenty people. But I love her. I just need to get over my anger at the disease and what it has done to her.