Cheryl throws little away when it comes to cards, letters and other written communications. Those include decades old information about house buying, information about her mother Elaine’s finances and letters to Cheryl while at Oldenburg Academy. Old pictures are a treasure and are these days mixed in at random. Recently I was searching for a story I had written some time ago about my mother. While searching for this on many thumb-drives I discovered several note files Cheryl had made a few years ago when her mother passed away. These are thoughts about comments for a eulogy about Elaine.
These days Elaine is very much in Cheryl’s thoughts. Elaine is present and real to her. She often says, “I want to go visit Mom.” Here are some of her memories from a few years ago.
Eulogy for Mom, an Excellent Seamstress
The first example of Mom’s sewing skills took place when Janice and Cheryl were little girls, maybe Cheryl was 5 years old and Janice was 3. Anyway Mom made each of them a new winter coat and leggings and a drawstring purse… she may have also made each of them a bonnet… we’re not sure because we cannot find the photos. However, part of what made this so special is that these clothes were made out of the fabric of 2 adult coats that were no longer needed… we don’t know if they were old coats that belonged to Grandma or Grandpa Moeller or someone else in the family. But Mom carefully took apart the seams in the adult-size coats and made these lovely warm outfits for Janice and Cheryl. Cheryl’s coat, leggings, and purse were made out of a light gray fabric, and Jan’s coat, leggings and purse were made out of dark red fabric. Mom had a lot of patience and skill as a seamstress.
The second example of Mom’s sewing skills is best told from Cheryl’s perspective:
This story took place when we were making plans for Nancy and Ron’s wedding. Mom and I were making the bridesmaids’ dresses for Nancy’s wedding. We had purchased this lovely, soft fabric that had a light blue background with a multicolored floral design. We bought the last bolt of that fabric at the store… there was no more anywhere. We knew that we might have trouble getting all the dresses we needed from that fabric, but we were determined to make it work. Finally we came to the last dress, which was mine. As we were cutting out the pieces of the pattern, we realized that we did not have enough to cut out both sleeves for my dress. The sleeves were what I would call poofy sleeves with an elastic cuff at the elbow. We did have a couple of fabric remnants, but none were large enough for the sleeve. Mom came to the rescue! She sat there at her kitchen table and moved the 2 largest remnants around until she matched up the floral print; then she sewed the remnants together, and you had to look really hard to see that seam. I finished making the dress, and I was extremely proud to wear that dress in Nancy’s wedding.
More stories about Mom
Travel — Mom was never afraid to fly anywhere. She often flew to Florida to visit Janice and her family. She also was friends with a couple who lived in Virginia Beach. Mom would fly to Virginia Beach to visit this couple… Mom’s friends would usually have to go to work while Mom was visiting, but they would give Mom access to the nearby beach. And Mom enjoyed the sunshine and walking the sandy beaches. These thoughtful friends gave Mom a place to relax, especially during the years soon after Dad died.
Jobs — Mom worked as a dispatcher for the St. Bernard Dial-a-Ride for 15 years, beginning in 1991 when she retired from her job as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. Mom loved the part-time Dial-a-Ride job. It allowed her to keep up with activities in her beloved St. Bernard. Everyone knew her and loved her. The only reason that she quit the job when she was 80 years old was because she was losing her eyesight due to macular degeneration… so she had difficulty writing in the dispatcher’s log… other workers had trouble reading Mom’s handwriting… even Mom had trouble reading what she had written. She thoroughly enjoyed working at Dial-a-Ride. She said that, if her eyesight had remained good, she would have continued working there until the end of her life.
Picnics in the county parks with our Krause and Moeller cousins when we were little.
Attended Mass at St. Clement Church on Sundays and during the week.
Reading stories to any and all grandchildren, even when her eyesight was fading.
Bowling team with Evelyn Schulte, Marian Kistner, and Marian Kahlis — played at Brentwood Bowl.
Eulogy for Mom, 2 Special Men in Mom’s Life
Mom had a really good relationship with Dad. They were devoted to each other and to their children. Mom and Dad liked to go dancing… sometimes at the Eagles Hall… sometimes at a wedding reception… any place that was playing music written by the likes of Glen Miller, Johnny Mercer, Henry Mancini, etc. Dad also loved to spend time with his children, even though he worked so many hours at his gas station/auto repair shop, that we didn’t see him as often as we would have liked to. When Dad would come home from the gas station, he usually had some accounting work to do after he ate some supper. If it wasn’t too late, he and Mom might sit at the kitchen table and play cards. In fact, when he had time, we played a lot of card games with Dad, such as Rummy, 7Up, Crazy Eights. Dad loved automobiles… he liked to shop for cars. An evening out with Mom and his children would often consist of visiting the used-car lots in the Carthage and Hartwell areas of town. We would often leave home in one car and come home a few hours later in a different car. Mom and Dad also enjoyed celebrating Christmas. In preparation for that holiday, weeks ahead of time Dad would begin setting up the train and train tracks in the living room and in Mom and Dad’s bedroom, which was next to the living room. Imagine having to step over train tracks to get to your bed! Dad also created many small buildings for the train stations and train neighborhoods out of old shoe boxes. The train layouts that ran around our Christmas tree were always magical.
We never wanted for anything… Mom and Dad always saw to it that we had plenty of clothes, food, toys, etc. Unfortunately, Dad died too soon. Lung cancer ended Dad’s life on April 11, 1977. This was devastating for Mom and for all of us. During the years before his death, Dad would often be admitted to the hospital for radiation treatments to shrink the tumor in his lung or to treat his chronic bronchitis or pneumonia. Whenever Dad was in the hospital, Mom was always there at his bedside. Mom devoted her life to caring for Dad.
Mom had started working part-time while Dad’s battle with lung cancer progressed. After Dad’s death, she began working as a receptionist at a doctor’s office in Clifton. There, a couple of years later, Mom met a gentleman by the name of Bob Roller. Bob invited Mom to go out with him on a date, and so she did. Pretty soon Mom and Bob became companions. Bob was not a dancer… he may have been a dancer at one time, but due to diabetes, both of his legs had been amputated at or above the knee, and he wore 2 artificial legs. Bob had other interests… he was a history buff… he liked to visit historic sites. So Mom and Bob would go to museums and air fields like Lunken Airport or the Air Force Museum in Dayton. Bob also liked to play Scrabble, and he and Mom would often sit at Mom’s kitchen table, playing Scrabble all evening. Bob was a very kind man… he loved Mom and Mom loved him. They were companions for about 16 years, until Bob died. I don’t mean for this to be a sad story. I think that it is remarkable. Mom enjoyed the company of 2 very special men in her life. Even Bob Roller’s children recognized how special Mom’s relationship was with Bob. Members of our family attended Bob Roller ‘s funeral. Bob had been in the military and so there was a flag ceremony at the grave site. The officer presented the folded flag to one of Bob’s sons who turned and presented the flag to Mom! We all shed many tears that day.
As I read these this morning in the background on television the news folks were reporting on the 9/11 ceremonies going on in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington D.C. I did not notice the TV until I was reading this last commentary about Bob Roller. Bob had been a bomber pilot during the war years. That was his interest in planes and flying. Somehow the background of names being read at ground zero seemed apt.
Reading these notes of Cheryl’s a few years ago touched me. I can hear her normal cadence and volume of her voice. I can hear and see her pre-Parkinson train of thought. Little of this is present these days. I miss simple conversation with Cheryl
Carpe Diem.
Adjunct_Wizard 