Cheryl was not a big spender. If anything she was a frugal spender and a diligent saver. When I was looking into financing a stay in some facility that could take care of her needs better than I thought I could, the price tag always took my breath away. I learned this from her but I had always felt that we had saved all our life for this very reason. Ultimately with help from my sister it worked out.

But when she did decide to spend, stand back! She had very strong opinions about what, where and how much. On shirts in the spring and summer seasons she was fond of flowers and patterns both had to be light and bright. In the fall and winter season her taste was stripes and solids. Both of those had to be darker and more subdued. I am taking all of this into account as I put together a memory quilt of her shirts with my daughter’s help.

Cheryl had two favorite stores; Kohl’s and J. C. Penney. Of the two she liked Penney’s the best. When J. C. Penney closed their mall stores in favor of stand alone buildings or mostly separate buildings this merely made it easier in her mind. And when she quit driving and I became the pilot these occasional trips became excursions. The particular location that we traveled to several times a year eventually did not keep up with profit margin expectations of the corporate office and it was closed.

The next closest Penney’s store was twice as far away driving time. Earlier I used the term excursion, so, this fact was okay, maybe more so. Kohl’s could never become an excursion because four minutes driving time on surface streets can never qualify as an excursion. In addition the type of shirts she might be inclined to buy were located barely into the four-minute-drive store, so, a Kohl’s visit was a pop-in visit. As if parkies can pop in anywhere.

On a cool day in late fall almost two years ago now, she announced one morning, “we need some new towels!” I responded with sure, do you want to go now? Today? She said no but soon. Soon became that afternoon and we went to Penney’s for towels and afterwards somewhere for dinner. An excursion was afoot.

This morning with her no longer here I was using these towels and wash cloths and thinking about that excursion and other excursions. Bath towels came from a department store like Penney’s. Kitchen towels (rags) came from Target, K-Mart, Kohl’s or the like. Pop-in stores. I was thinking about the source of things later as I was putting away the towels and disposing of other items that I had laundered the previous evening.

When we went to Penney that day looking for towels we stopped to look at earrings. None where to her liking so we moved off into the back where bath and bedding items are located but additionally there is a restroom. After the earrings she needed that facility and we were still in the stage of care where I did not need to go with her to help. Afterwards, it was on to the bath towels finally. I was the excursion driver but I was still working on patience. Often looking back on our life with Parkinson I notice how I readily agreed to some outing to somewhere but often when I got to the end point I became impatient to get the program over with.

There are many different aspects to shopping in a store for something specific. There is a wide selection of manufacturers, qualities, colors of bath towels. Cheryl would get stuck trying to decide. This was her term for it. Trying-to-decide, I think her brain got stuck on too many selections and internally she was thinking, what about this color?, this feels nice, is this a good brand? I could find my patience back when I detected this coming on her. I could not always see this happening. She was closer to death before I came to understand that I should make suggestions and help steer her thinking a little. A menu in a restaurant, a recipe, directions in a sewing pattern, a smart phone, a dumb phone, TV remote control, a fork, all of these over time became very hard if not impossible for her to understand and operate. This woman used to write software, analyze business data, taught in grade school, balanced the checking account without a calculator.

I suggested that since our overall theme of our condo was a light true green, that perhaps, we should look for towels that can go with that color. Perhaps mustard yellow was out and maybe also pumpkin orange, although browns and deep reds, fall colors would work. “This is a nice deep green…” And this cream color would provide a nice contrast. I like this deep red. We could put it out at Christmas. On the conversation went but she was no longer stuck.

We bought two of each color selected. We bought matching hand towels and wash cloths. I was particularly proud of the fact that even though two of each item was not available in the store, I was able to fill out the pairs buying them online. When UPS brought them a few days later she said, good I thought we had left them at the store. We should wash them first before using them. Sure I said as I carried them to the washer and assembled a bulky items load in it.

I wash a lot of items together and call it a mixed load.

Using the towels always reminds me of Cheryl. The towels I use most often for myself were actually purchased at Macy’s after we shop lifted them on the way to Dillard’s a few years previous. It is a similar story except that she wanted to go to the mall to look for towels – I think it was for towels. I may have just talked her into going to this particular mall because it was inside and had easy access elevators to get to each level. Nevertheless we found a couple towels and I put them onto her walker and she wanted to keep shopping so we walked right out of Macy’s to Dillard’s. It was not until she could not find what she wanted at Dillard’s that I realized we had shoplifted the towels from Macy’s.

We paid for them on the way back through Macy’s to our car.

Whenever we went to Target for anything she would announce that we needed some new wash cloths. We bought several times the inexpensive ten-for-a-dollar packs of wash cloths. These would fray easily in the washing machine. Cheryl would sit in the evening and trim off the edges so they could fray faster.

I have lots of memories from these towels and wash cloths. The cheap ones I pitched out. They were clogging the lint trap in the washer and the screen in the dryer.

Carpe Diem.