Lately I’ve Been Reading

Matthew McConaughey’s book Greenlights is a collection of diary entries, stories and journal entries that he has written through life. He is not a hero by any means but he pulled himself up and spent a large portion of his life trying to impress and live up to his perceived view of how his father perceived him. He is doing okay.

He did get me thinking about life and where we go from here. What if there is no here?

Neptune Society

I became tired of reading Matthew, so on a particularly morbid Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago I remembered that Cheryl and I had planned to collect information and preplan our funerals. Once in a while Cheryl thinks about this as her PD takes her occasionally down a dark road. She has expressed interest in cremation, so on this Sunday I poked “cremation cost + cincinnati” into Google and the Neptune Society popped up as the first or second hit. So, that sent me down the rabbit hole of death, dying, funeral cost, yada, yada, yada.

I filled out their form thinking I would be buried in email about cemeteries and crematoriums. Not so simple, just like senior living facilities and “aplaceformom” I started getting calls from them. Eventually I mistakenly answered their call and found out some interesting info.

Their parent company is Service Corporation International (NYSE: SCI). I am interested in stocks so I used our stock club’s analysis to check them out.

It sounds morbid but death is up. And as Jim Morrison of the Doors once said, “No one here gets out alive!” He may have been drunk at the time but truer words were never spoken.

SCI

Summary: [from Reuters] Service Corporation International is a provider of death-care products and services, with a network of funeral service locations and cemeteries. The Company’s segments include Funeral, Cemetery and Corporate. It conducts both funeral and cemetery operations in the United States and Canada. As of December 31, 2016, it operated 1,502 funeral service locations and 470 cemeteries, including 281 funeral service/cemetery combination locations, which are geographically diversified across 45 states, eight Canadian provinces, the District of Columbia, and Puerto Rico. It offers various brands, such as Dignity Memorial, Dignity Planning, National Cremation Society, Advantage Funeral and Cremation Services, and Funeraria del Angel. Its funeral service and cemetery operations consist of funeral service locations, cemeteries, funeral service/cemetery combination locations, crematoria, and related businesses. It sells cemetery property, and funeral and cemetery merchandise and services.

Various Opinions: CFRA recommends BUY (5/13/2021); Research Team recommends HOLD; Reliable Research – We do not recommend investors buy SCI; Ford Equity Research – We project that SCI will perform in line with the market over the next 6 to 12 months; Barchart Technical Opinion – Strong BUY; Zacks – Add to Portfolio (2-buy)

Few want to think about it but death seems to be an expanding market. Last year was a good one for sales and 2021 continues to be one. Regardless of the pandemic pandemonium and which side of the mask you are on, a lot of people died last year. From SCI’s first quarter guidance announcement:

UPDATED OUTLOOK FOR 2021 – Today we are reporting earnings per share of $1.33 and net cash provided by operating activities of $298 million for the quarter. The $0.88 growth in earnings per share in the quarter was primarily driven by increased comparable preneed cemetery sales production and continued elevated COVID-19 mortality, which resulted in an increase in both funeral services performed and burials in our cemeteries. Comparable preneed cemetery sales production grew $130 million, or 67%, during the quarter driven by an increase in sales velocity, sales averages, and large sales activity. Net cash provided by operating activities grew approximately $118 million over the prior year quarter, primarily due to increased operating profit.

Based on our first quarter results, we are raising the midpoint of our full year adjusted earnings per share guidance fifteen cents to $2.85 and the midpoint of our adjusted operating cash flow guidance to $687.5 million. Our long-term earnings growth framework remains in place, we will maintain focus on our core strategies of growing revenue by remaining relevant to our client families, leveraging our scale, and maximizing our capital deployment opportunities in a disciplined and balanced manner.

That was probably more business information than you intended to read. The stock club analysis reports SCI as a “buy”. Although it will not be a shining winner like a bunch of tech stocks, it will probably double in value over the next 5-ish years and along the way produce a 1.5% dividend per share.

Death is on the rise in America.

But wait there’s more! (morbid thoughts that is) Cremation is less expensive that other forms of disposal. Urns are available on Amazon for less than $50.

Carpe Diem (or at least the afternoon)

Staying Interested in Life (Taking Stock)

What gets you going?

I ask myself this question often and I ask it in different ways. As I approach seventy-two I still wonder about life. What is the meaning of it all. I am not unique in this. Philosophers throughout the ages have wondered these things.

A cute little internet quiz site – QuizDoo – has told me that: You always have the need to know the answers to life’s most difficult questions. You have a great desire to learn about our existence. You have always been puzzled with what humanity is doing here and what the purpose is. You spend a lot of time trying to understand different people and cultures. When you meet new people, you like to get deep into their minds and find out what makes them tick. — I am an Enlightened Existentialist.

Interesting I thought. I do like to try to understand how things work – physical things. In that same vein I am interested in how people come to believe what they believe and what they base those beliefs on.

What keeps you interested in your surroundings?

When I was very young I became interested in the kinds of things that my brother and father were doing in the basement. They were both ham radio fans and spent much time discussing various uses for things like a 6V6 or a 12AX7. Mysterious conversations with which I was unable to participate. I was twelve or so.

These were the heady days of pioneering and experimenting with electronics. Those funny names (to me) were, of course, common to folks building their own radios and transmitters. Sputnik was orbiting the Earth. I often remark to people that I learned most of my engineering from my dad and later went to school to pick up more of the math and theory. (Dad was good at math too.) Throughout my life I have puttered with electronics and later computers and software. It is still an interest.

What gets you up every day?

I get up everyday with the sole purpose of seeing to Cheryl’s well-being. We have been dealing with Parkinson’s for more than a dozen years. Lately Cheryl’s symptoms have worsened. Her mobility is still pretty good although she struggles with balance. She has impaired cognitive function. She has impaired short term memory. Her memory is a larger issue because she becomes anxious about forgetting something which can affect her sleep which can affect other symptoms. It is a vicious circle.

My goal for any day is that she is healthy and content in her surroundings. The current pandemic pandemonium has limited the things we could do. Eventually all will be well but I fear that she has lost touch with her friends. That makes me anxious.

About three years ago she started a support group in our church. She had become aware of the fact that there were several parish members that had either Parkinson’s disease or something similar. She is able to keep up with this with a little help from the rest of us around her.

What are you interested in?

I have been lucky in life. Some would say blessed. I prefer lucky. I met the love of my life early in it. We became comfortable with each other and raised a family. My career as an engineer has always lead to new and interesting control designs for various types of specialized machinery. That alone meant that I had to learn and be familiar with sundry processes.

I have always been interested in how things were made and manufactured. Sadly I am very uninterested in the Kardashians. I am interested in computers and software and how that all works. The stock market interests me. One day I will strike it rich. I hope that happens before I die but I do not know why that would be important. Dead is dead. Its not a better death if you are financially rich. Search “camel + eye of needle + heaven” in Google to find out why it is not.

I have an interest also in medical developments with brain science as it relates to Parkinsonism and mental health. Sadly science knows very little about this complex organ. I have an interest in bicycling. I believe it keeps one healthy but more importantly it gets one outside.

Why do you pursue those things?

A life long interest in learning new things and new technologies has caused me to pursue various interests. Retirement has given me the opportunity and the time to do so.

Is it fulfilling?

Most assuredly so. Life is always fulfilling when one is able to share the journey.

Carpe Diem.

Elevators, Showers and Kiddos

Overnight conversations seem to repeat with Parkinson’s patients. At least it happens in our home.

Yesterday we had an appointment with a dermatology wizard to look at and remove a spot suspected as a basil cell carcinoma. As a result my wife was anxious before going to bed. (I think I am getting used to this anxiety about future events.)

2 AM

Get ups and trips to the bathroom happen at two hour intervals when she is anxious. On the first trip I did not hear any of the usual thumps and bumps of using the toilet, so I got up to see if I could help. She was standing in the middle of the floor looking toward the closet door on the far side of the bath. How are you doing? — I asked. I’m waiting for the elevator. — She responded. I explained that the door was a closet and the toilet was over here, gesturing at the toilet and opening the closet door.

That seemed to knock her off the fence of using the toilet versus waiting for the elevator to go up or down. Afterward she came back to bed.

4 AM

I am going to take a shower so that I am ready to go to the dentist. (I saw no reason to correct dentist v. dermatologist.) pointed out that it was four o’clock in the morning and there was plenty of time to take a shower later. Her appointment was not until quarter ’til ten. She had used the toilet earlier. I convinced her that it was okay to get a couple more hours sleep before taking a shower.

Before going into the bathroom she sat on the edge of the bed and told me that someone was in there so she would wait. I got up to look. As I open the bathroom door I announce – get moving, Cheryl needs to use the toilet. Then I tell her there is no one there.

She usually tells me there were kids in there. Sometimes she tells me that Virginia was in there. (Virginia is our granddaughter. Cheryl sees her as a five year old.)

6 AM (maybe 6:30)

She is up again with a repeat of four AM activities. It is later now so the taking a shower thing is probably a good idea. I got her morning meds that she will take at seven. She took them a few minutes early and prepared for taking a shower. I went back to bed for thirty minutes of shower noise to wait for the extremely loud alarm clock to spew its wrath on the morning rest period.

Good Morning ALL, said the alarm clock. Off we went to the dermatology wizard and the rest of the day.

Carpe Diem.

Happy Birthday Dearest One!

Today is Cheryl’s birth date. She was born on this date many years ago. Many years before we discovered each other in life; God, fate or karma intertwined our existence together in life. It is meant to be.

Yesterday we celebrated. It was a wonderful party. She remarked as we drove home from the park, “That’s the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you for putting it all together.” I thank Anna, David and Scott (and Mavis, Eric and Melissa). I had very little to do with it.

Back in March or April when it was starting to warm up and we were both two weeks past our covid vaccinations. Cheryl was anxious to party with the kids and grand-kids. I hopped onto the Hamilton County parks site and reserved a shelter for her birthday celebration. Good time.

Carpe Diem.

Things That Make You Happy

Lately I have been thinking about this topic. It came to me while helping my son build a new shed in his backyard. We had planned to go visit on a Sunday afternoon. He had bought a kit the previous week. He had assembled the floor on Saturday and we used that to assemble the frames for the walls. It is was very satisfying work. It made me feel useful and happy. Dinner was good that evening.

That feeling of being useful made me feel happy. The physical exercise was probably part of it too.

The Covid-19 pandemonium has kept me from seeing my sister for a long time. It is not as though we need to see each other often but of our original family only she and I are left. Somehow that makes it more important to talk and see each other. I have set up a trip out west to visit her. My nephew, Jeffrey, is getting married soon, so she and I will meet in his part of the universe. We will meet up a couple days ahead of time and wear ourselves out eating and chatting. I have spent the money with the airline. The trip is set that makes me happy.

Acceptance of what is removes doubt and anxiety about what might have been. Those concerns that are no longer concerning can make one happy. Look at this little cartoon I tripped over somewhere. Look at all the negatives that one leaves behind by accepting the fact that it is raining. Yup. It is raining. You will get wet today. Plan accordingly.

One cannot change the weather.

Today I frittered away much of the day reading a novel that I began yesterday evening before going to bed. I very much enjoy discovering an author whom I have not read before and becoming immersed in the story being told. The outside world disappears for a time. It makes me happy.

Once in a while little disappointments creep into our lives. We can dwell on those and build them into the mansion that they are not or they can be let go. If one does not dwell on the disappointments in life and focuses on the joys of life, happiness comes in abundance.

Zarchary

Look at this face and tell me that it does not give your heart joy and make you happy. Young children in all their innocence have to be taught life’s disappointments. How would they turn out if they were never taught these things? What if they were only taught life’s joys?


In this world of Parkinsonism that Cheryl and I find ourselves I look for happiness wherever I am able to find it. Most times it is in the very small things where I find happiness. If Zachary comes to visit and does not get upset when Mom leaves for a couple hours we are happy. If Cheryl is having a good day after she has slept well she is happy which makes me happy. If we have lunch out and she is able to find something that she wants she is happy which makes me happy. In a few days we will celebrate Cheryl’s birthday in a park. It may rain. Inclement weather is predicted for that day. But I will be happy. We have had one more year together.


Stay moving and get as much exercise as you can stand. It releases endorphins and makes you happy.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31888602/ – A relationship exists between physical activity and happiness

https://8fit.com/fitness/exercise-and-happiness/ — How exercise affects our mental health

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/25/does-having-children-make-you-happy-yes-if-you-let-them — Children and happiness

Pie makes anyone happy

Carpe Diem

On Making Pies

Perhaps if one would choose, a bit more experience would precede making a pie for company.

About Thursday of last week, something she saw on television or read in the paper caused her to decide that she would make a pie for dessert on Sunday.

In her mind’s eye, it was no big deal. In her mind’s eye there is no Parkinson’s disease. In her mind’s eye she has plenty of stamina. On the way home from dinner at Through the Garden Restaurant on Friday evening we stopped at the grocery and bought some apples. On Saturday she cut up and peeled three of the four apples and had to sit down. I peeled and cut up the last one and another for just-in-case.

She took her meds and laid down for a bit. When she felt a little better, I made the crust under her tutelage. We (I) rolled it out and started over about a dozen times. I quit to put on shoes and gather my stuff for a trip to the store for a premade crust. On the way through the kitchen I stopped to try just once more with a twist.

My twist worked and we (I) assembled the pie.

Today we will take it to my son’s house to see how it turned out.

My other son’s wife is an expert pie maker. I probably should have subcontracted the pie to her and they live pretty close by. Maybe next time I will do this or maybe next time I will practice making crust.

Martha Stewart has a website full of ideas.

My pie – ready for transport

Carpe Diem!

Scam Likely

Another roboshit call from some computer called “amazon”. Even the scammers are automated. Mr. Robo Death shown here maybe out of a job.

Ring! Ring! Ring! The pseudo-landline rings it cheery tone in the late morning. “Hello, is is a call about your amazon account…” — but Amazon, I have made purchases through and from Amazon, does not know this number for me. I have associated a mobile number with my account.

It is not surprising that there are so many robo-calls. “This is an apology call from your electric utility”. This same technology is much akin to the targeted ads that track any online search. They politely sit on the side of the screen and say “Pick me! Pick me!” If you are searching on a small device those same ads cover the information that you want and often reverse the “go away” and “Pick me” buttons.

At home on the VoIP pseudo-landline, answering the phone with “Supp!” or “Ahoy, ahoy!” instead of the traditional “Hello” confuses the software.

If you let the call go through it often connects you to a human in Mumbai or Jakarta.

It is an amazingly complex and technological world we live in.

Be careful out there.

Unsure of the Cause

In the middle of the night, very early morning, she gets up and becomes argumentative about staying up. Its about 3AM and I admit to being less than social at 3AM. Today for the first time she told me what was happening to her. She has severe leg cramps and partial immobility.

She has found that she can combat that feeling by struggling to get up and move around a bit.

I charged off on a search this morning with the internet of all knowledge and found this timely article at parkinsonsdisease.net [https://parkinsonsdisease.net/living/leg-pain].

…four types of leg pain in PD.

First type of leg pain is central pain

This pain is described as constant burning sensation with occasional burst of sharp pain. As it was in my case, this pain is commonly exacerbated by cold and by light touch. I could not stand the sheets to touch my skin and being in a cold room sent my pain through the roof. This type is usually bilateral but it may start on the side where other Parkinson’s symptoms begin. For me, it was the leg where my rest tremor began.

Second type of leg pain is caused by dystonia

When related to levodopa, it usually occurs as a wearing off but can also occur at peak dose. In most cases this leg pain is unilateral and has direct correlation to medication intake. When pain is due to dystonia, it is more common in early morning. This type of leg pain is usually accompanied by toes curling and foot abnormally posturing.

Third type of leg pain is musculoskeletal

Musculoskeletal pain occurs due to rigidity, abnormal posturing, and lack of mobility leading to pain in the legs. It may also affect the joint like the hip or knee. This pain is usually more pronounced on the more affected side. It can be localized or widespread and also can be sudden.

Fourth type of leg pain is radicular pain

In this case, the pain is caused by compression of nerves in lumbar area which results in weakness, numbness and tingling, and loss of reflexes from buttocks to foot in a distribution of a nerve. It can be acute or chronic, and can be worse with standing and sitting, or better with laying down. Of note: in my experience many patients including myself have these symptoms not because of physically herniated disc but rather by the stretching of a nerve in the canal as it exists due to severe musculoskeletal rigidity and abnormal posturing.

–Maria DeLeon


So there you are problem solved. 🙂 But – there is always a but – asked my wife of many years to read the referenced article and describe or discern as best she can the kind of pain she is feeling. Out comes a description of stabbing pain in her heals. In her words – like someone is stabbing pins into my foot.

So that sucks! Peripheral neuropathy can be related to Parkinson’s disease. Pardon my french but goddamn this disease. She often has numbness in her hands in the morning. It is hard for her some days to simply hold a spoon to put cereal in her mouth. I bought her four kangaroo cups (invented by a ten year old to help her grandpa) to help with her unsteadiness with the orange juice she has every morning. These work great and she likes them, so she uses them often.

Dealing with an ever changing range of symptoms, pains and degenerative cognition can wear one out.

Carpe Diem! I’m off to research different sorts of beds and mattresses, etc.

The Walk

She put on her year old Nike walkers. It was one of those sunny spring days that says fresh and new is what we are up to today.

Where should we go? – c;

Let’s go up Troy. I hate to go through the dip.- p;

Okay. -c;

There is a quick look around and search for keys and other kit.

What’s the weather like? – c;

Warm. Probably no sweater. – p;

Are you sure? I thought it was supposed to rain. – c;

Nope. Sure. Look. – p;

He holds the door to the front porch open.

It does look nice out. – c;

Out the door and off on two miles or so.

Cortelyou (core-tell-you or cortil-you, your choice) avenue is named after John Cortelyou who either developed or owned that part of Pleasant Ridge. On plat maps the area is referred to as the John Cortelyou subdivision. John and his wife Martha are buried in the Pleasant Ridge Presbyterian Cemetery on Montgomery. The pavement is narrow and parking is only permitted on the west side of the street. The part of the street that they live on if allowed to connect to it would make an acute angle to Ridge road. Troy avenue which meets Cortelyou just before it drops down a short incline towards Losantiville road makes the base of a right triangle with Ridge and Cortelyou.

Troy avenue meets Ridge road precisely where Ridge curves to the right to head south again after coming up the hill from the little valley that holds Amber creek. The short street meets the thoroughfare with an acute angle to the left and a right angle to the on the other side. There are mostly single family houses on the south side of the street and mostly multifamily buildings on the north side. It is a pleasant street. Narrow along its length but bright and sunny with few large trees along its length to obscure the view towards Ridge road.

Ridge road is poorly named because it never travels along a ridge in the earth but rather perpendicular to several. It would be more aptly named Over the Ridges Road but, no doubt, this name was rejected when the names were being given out or the makers of maps became tired of precision and in their gay manner shortened the name to Ridge rather than ‘Over the Ridges’ or ‘On the Way to Ridge’ or even ‘Up to the Ridge and down Again’ road.

As they walked they spoke of their surroundings and of people they knew. He came with her as he usually did on this day to get to know her better. They were empty nesters now. All three of their children were grown and moved away. He did not often want to simply walk around the neighborhood but she was okay with that she pushed him to get out of the chair and move. It is a nice day. Let’s go.

They took the acute angle at the end of the street and walked north in front of the houses that were originally built, as the story goes, to show off the type of housing available to be built in nearby Norwood. No matter the back story these are beautiful old houses set far back from the west edge of the street. Some well kept. Some developing creeping overgrowth. An earlier majesty and grace left for some later owner to recover and let the homes bloom again.

At the top of the rise where the road dipped back down into the valley, they crossed into the neighborhood on the east side of Ridge. Through a small dip in the topography and up toward Grand Vista. Grand Vista climbs a hill to the left as they walked toward Montgomery road. This road is known as the Pike by the older generation.

At this point the conversation is interrupted to ask, up or not?

I think not -c.

Okay. – p.

Following Grand Vista to the cul de sac and back out will add over a mile to the walk. One can turn a mere walk into a trek in this fashion. They continue to Montgomery Pike.

Turning south on Montgomery they headed back into the business section of the old village of Pleasant Ridge just one of the ridges that over the ridges road went over in its meandering trail south toward the old village of Oakley. Near this turn anchoring one end of the business grouping is the Pleasant Ridge branch of the Hamilton County Public Library. They paused for a moment to allow a young mother to organize children, bicycles and a stroller as the family left the library with their booty.

It is a magnificent day for a walk around the neighborhood and they are enjoying themselves. The temperature is warm. The sky is the shade of pure blue that appears after a spring shower washes the air. The daffodils are near the end of their reign but stubbornly hanging onto their beauty as early tulips attempt to shoulder them out of view.

As they near Kincaid Rd. another key decision point he asks, Kincaid?

Yes, she replies.

They turn north on Kincaid on the west side of the street. During this entire walk p. has moved to her right or left to place himself between her and the street. In his own mind it is proper for the male to position himself between the female and the passing traffic. He is not certain where this ingrained behavior has come from. He merely knows that is what he needs to do. So, he has placed himself on her right side as they walk down the street.

As they walk he notices that occasionally she struggles to keep with him and this causes him to slow a little and look down at her feet. The walk is narrow and he thinks that perhaps he has hogged more of the width than he is entitled to. As he watches she is not lifting her left foot always. She is dragging it in a limping motion.

Being a man, he teases – are you having a stroke, dear?

She replies with – I don’t know. My leg does not seem to work right.

They slowed more and he held her hand as they walked. She seemed to be struggling to maintain any sort of normal gait. When they got to Harvest they turned and headed back home.

I always remember Cheryl’s initial struggles with Parkinson’s this way. She remembers a different story. About this time she was a big deep water aerobics fan and participated in a class at the YMCA about three times a week. Later on we joined the Jewish Community Center and she did deep water aerobics there.

If you ask her she will describe going in circles in her water aerobics class when she wanted to go straight down the pool. She probably did that but what I remember most is this little walk we took one day many years ago.