I read this article in the New York Times. It is a guest essay. It spoke directly to my heart.
In the fall of 2023 I faced up to the fact that I would be unable to care for Cheryl on my own. I sought out information and decided on a nearby senior care facility with a memory care wing with which we we were both familiar. Both of our mother’s had stayed there at the end of their lives.
It is a tough decision to make. It is hard for anyone who has been in a loving relationship for five decades to recognize that they cannot do it all. The slowness of the care giving to a partner with a chronic disease initially deceived me into believing all would be well.
Then her dementia came.
My children and I moved Cheryl about two weeks before Thanksgiving that year. For those two weeks prior to the big meal at my son and his wife’s house, I spent every day with her talking about what a great time we would have and how all the grand kids were doing. I thought she understood it all.
On Thanksgiving she did not want to leave the facility but eventually I convinced her it would be alright.
We stayed for about two hours at the dinner. Cheryl seemed confused about all of it they entire time we were there. She wanted to leave abruptly after the dinner of which she ate little.
Care giving (care partnering) does change your perception of those around you.
It allows you to love unconditionally.
Carpe Diem
Adjunct_Wizard 