Last Night She Slept

Nice. But she has slept for about ten hours so far. I know that everyone sleeps for different amounts of time and Cheryl has been struggling to sleep well the past two days but I worry about the changes in her sleep pattern.

And at the same time when I look inside my own self and think about it, I cannot change how she feels. I cannot change how the disease progresses in her metabolism. I can make her comfortable.

Recently Cheryl Hughes wrote about quality of life and what that means to her and her husband while he was still alive. She makes some good points but I ponder about my view of quality of life is something that I have projected onto Cheryl.

Perhaps on some days she needs twelve hours of sleep. Perhaps on other days she will need a mere four hours. (Those days will be tough.) As her care partner I hope that I can understand that nuance and help her rather than being angry. Angry is a label I place on feelings of anxiety, worry, concern, and empathy for her as her body deals with this debilitating debacle.

It may be all for naught. Recently we got our second covid booster. Perhaps she is reacting to that shot. Neither she nor I had any real reaction other than a sore arm with any of the shots so far. It is simply not understandable what is Parkinson and what is not. It is easy to blame the parkinson when most things are simply old age. Her sometimes in and out dementia inhibits how she tells me what she is feeling. I attempt to be patient and understanding. Sometimes my attempts fall sort.

Are you gonna help me sing?

Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people’s destiny
Passes by

There are no guarantees
There are no alibis
That’s how our love must be
Don’t ask why

— Toto

She is slowly waking up in the bedroom. A new day dawns. I have Alexa playing music by Toto. They were on CBS Sunday Morning today. Perhaps I will get to ride my bike today.

Carpe Diem.

4 thoughts on “Last Night She Slept

  1. Thank you for pinging my blog, Paul. You’re doing a great job, and your feelings are understandable. Your Cheryl’s quality of life is mostly due to you, right now. Keep up the good work, and we’ll all be your cheerleaders!


  2. Sleep deprivation can be torture but then you mention the Covid shot and it made me sleep +++
    Thinking of you and hoping for a better night’s rest and less worries for both of you.


    • It might not be the covid booster. She is also about a week and a half into donepezil (Aricept) which is supposed to help with her memory/dementia issues. Its two main side effects are insomnia and diarrhea. The second one could help with her constant constipation. 🙂 Unfortunately we might be experiencing the first one now that she has taken the new drug for a bit. I’m routing for the covid shot and hoping all will be well in a couple days. Thanks for your kind thoughts. Paul

      Liked by 1 person

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