Time for a Change

One of my favorite words is Luddite. It is a pejorative. Luddites are resistant to technology and change. Buddhism and Hinduism share the doctrine of Anicca or Anitya, that is “nothing lasts, everything is in constant state of change”. Imagine a Buddhist Luddite. There is a guy with a serious mental health issue.

Difficulties of life while supporting a person with any sort of chronic disease tempers one’s world view. I have come to decide that change in perspective is necessary for a healthy mind, a calm mind, a sane mind.

I have decided to make three changes in my day that I hope will adjust my personal perspective. In the morning spend an hour writing. It is quiet. Use the time wisely. In the morning spend fifteen minutes doing some exercise. In the evening read for an hour. Stephen King has a new book.

I do some of this currently. Generally I read for an hour or so before I go to bed but after I help Cheryl to bed. It is quiet in the late evening. Cheryl usually needs time to settle down. If I go to bed at the same time as her I tend to lie awake listening to her squirm and rub and pat the bed and generally fidget. Often while reading I find myself listening carefully to hear if she is moving. If this happens I realize that whatever reading material I have is not holding my interest and attention. It is time to sleep.

For awhile in the morning during the early summer I had a series of chair yoga (old out of shape people yoga) exercises that I did in the morning. The whole series took about 15 – 20 minutes. Somewhere in June I lost interest and quit but exercise is boring and doing exercise because someone told you it is good for you is uninspiring. I do not simply believe ideas that others expound. I look for some validity elsewhere first. Perhaps I need to mix it up and find my groove. I am still working on that aspect of it.

Write in the morning during the early hours while Cheryl is still sleeping. Make it a routine and perhaps I can finish my book. My it a routine and perhaps I can inspire myself. I have started three different book ideas. I have to select one and push it.

A fourth thing not mentioned above is go back to working with students in the program I am involved with at a local community college. It is a fact that communication with others without dementia can be a relief from the miscommunication that occurs in our every day life. Four hours is about long enough for me relax and not think about Cheryl. It is a break. I think I need that.

It is later in the year. The sun goes down earlier in the day. Cheryl’s brain wanders off into some odd places when it is winter gloomy outside. Our condominium is one the first floor of a two story building. We are in the back and the windows face east with a view of an overgrown woods. It can be a bleak landscape view in the winter. In the summer it fills in close enough that there is no view of the sunrise. Garages line the front so that there is no view to the front and the typically magnificent sunsets we can view from our hilltop. But it is a one floor plan which is perfect for Cheryl and her bad knees. it is, however, dark in the winter and on a cloudy summer day much like viewing the world through cataracts.

And there you have it, my first morning of writing and thinking.

Carpe Diem.