Month: May 2025

Sleep was elusive the other day

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I notice that as I get older occasionally sleep seems elusive but is it? This morning I awoke about four thirty. Initially in the dark I thought to go back to sleep. My body and my brain was not interested.

I got up to my usual wake up activities. I left the lights off and the morning newsy shows off. Quietly I watched the light slowly return to this side of the globe.

Last evening I fell asleep early while reading. I do not remember when but it was before ten. I awakened after eleven and got up to get in bed. This alone explains why my body and brain lost interest in sleeping at four. Six to seven hours with the occasional get up to toilet seems to be my normal. The experts want sell you on 8 hours. I stopped concerning myself with other peoples opinions (OPOs) long ago. Sometimes I take a nap.

There is a bunch of OPO in life. Over the years of taking care of Cheryl I was alert to the fact that there is often an inadvertent expert lurking nearby ready to solve a casual comment at a moments notice. It is impossible for many to be merely present. During the last couple years I have found several people willing to merely be present. They were near me all along. I just did not recognize them. I had been focused on Cheryl. It was an intense focus.

My focus is Debbie now. What a difference a year can make. (Yes. A cliché. I know.)

Carpe Diem

News or Gossip

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Joe Biden, Jake Tapper, Alex Thompson — Biden’s health

Watching the morning news show on CBS I found myself listening to an interview with Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson both journalistic authors of a new book about health issue cover ups by the Biden staff towards the last couple years of his term in office. The point of their conversation was transparency in cognitive health of the president and other leaders in our society. Certainly, I believe, a worthwhile pursuit. Being President or serving on the SCOTUS or any other high level position in our government is cognitively stressful. It seems useful to weed out the mentally deficient, sociopaths and other mental health issues.

But how to determine the clarity of the transparency? And who to lend definitive definition to the mental issues and the transparency of the communication? A conundrum indeed.

My mind wandered off into the weeds of “Is this news? Is this gossip? And What is the difference?” I generally turn on the morning news show for companionship. I feel no strong desire to do so when others are present.

Yesterday, when Debbie was here and, although she was here, out of habit I turned on the news. We spent some time watching the show and she pointed out that I talk back during the show. It is as though I am having a conversation with the TV. It made me smile and I believe that news and gossip are names for the same activity.

When the TV folks invented TV news, it was profound and important. Edward R. Murrow and the like made it so. George Clooney is on Broadway memorializing it. But is it not merely gossip in an official form? The term gossip demeans the news reporting activity. Fake news explains to everyone which way we lean in the political landscape. (What is a political landscape? Sorry.) Is politics another form of gossip? Or is it merely advertising and selling one’s belief structure?

I am really in a deep rabbit hole this morning.

Merriam-Webster’s thesaurus, I have had a red covered one to go with my college dictionary of the same vintage for a long time but find the online version most convenient and worthy of support, displays these as useful synonyms for news: information; info; story; announcement; tidings; rumor; item; advice(s); message; intelligence; gen; word; bulletin; uncos; reportage; communication; tale; gossip; 411; feedback; tidbit; dispatch; correspondence; scoop; tip; lowdown; propaganda; tidbit; dope; tattle; disinformation. Gen, uncos and 411 have a special use in the British, Scottish and slang genres. Gossip is in the list.

The gossip entry in the same volume does not display news as a synonym for gossip. It is no doubt a unilateral relationship. Gossip can be either news or olds (repetitive stories). The term news implies something that is a new story and is factual. Gossip can have facts but those are not a requirement. Alternative facts and opinion may be presented as substance.

With Tapper and Thompson and the CBS morning crew the conversation leapt from news – they wrote a book – to we should do something about the less than forthrightness of discussion of health issues of the leadership. This last is most worthy of discussion but perhaps in a different forum. Perhaps a thoughtful show presented by a news oriented organization but not the early morning slot it got between the latest Mission Impossible movie hype and yesterday’s CBS Deals shopping segment. I find it hard to believe Nate changed his suit that fast. Why would he?

The morning news shows are just gossip after the opening fifteen minutes of weather disaster, shootings, the Trump spot and war images.

The gossip is more interesting but there is more to the day than that. I will move on.

Carpe Diem.

Men Don’t Like Questions

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Men Do Not Like Questions and Women Need Reassurance

That is a tag line that provokes thought. Debbie said that to me in a conversation we were having about I do not know what. It struck me as so true to stereotype I stopped to write it down in my notes app on my phone.

I observed the stereotype at work in an extra class I taught this spring at the community college. A logistics difficulty with the school caused me to take over a class that had been started by another instructor.

Young men in their all knowing way can plunge off into the abyss of I don’t need any help/I got this. In this case a little extra knowledge is helpful. They were building a control panel for the semester project. For one the magic smoke leaked out of a component. This is never good in electrical work. The young women, there were three, were unsure of their abilities and were more cautious. One told me one day, “I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing.”

I wrote to her at the end of the class my thoughts about her performance in the lab project portion of class. I do this for all of my students. I have done this since my student teaching days. I think of teaching and instructing as guiding the students. Lecture implies an all knowing authoritative relationship. I do not have that style. I think it helps me to get to know and understand their abilities and how I can guide and help them succeed. Along the way I make notes about them in the hope of aiding the journey.

To Simara: I recognize that my taking over the course midstream was disruptive to you. In my short time with you and the rest of the class I took the time to observe a few things about each of you. I am writing this to you to report those observations and offer some unsolicited advice. I detect that you are unsure about many things both in this class and around you in life. That observation may be an incorrect one as I have only known you for a short time. And yet you were not afraid to admit it as you said, “I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing.” That admission is a bold thought and shows an intelligence beyond your years. The important thing is that you asked for help. You may not understand how well that ability will serve you through life but it is a very useful ability to ask for help. Not everyone can do that. Often they are worried about looking stupid and unknowledgeable.

The whole idea of this class is to gain some practical hands on experience, so at the end of our time together I wrote to everyone to tell them what I thought of the class as a whole and to thank them for the smooth transition. They gave me the impression that the previous instructor did not like to answer questions. That simple fact would explain why they were so tentative about asking for information about the project they were working on. And for the project they were working on, they had incomplete information.

This experience was not unlike several business experiences in which I was tossed into a project that was going awry with the wish of, see if you can fix it. Sometimes that means starting over midstream rapidly and using as much of the existing disaster as possible. Sometimes it means finding a new piece of paper and resharpening the pencil. I failed one young man, Sam, who raced ahead not knowing he had incomplete information.

Not only do men not like questions but they do not like asking questions. Women on the other hand ask lots of questions. Follow up questions, many follow up questions help to define the edges of the path to be taken. The path becomes clearer as the follow ups serve to sweep the leaves off the pavement.

Debbie does this to me. My usual response is, “Hmmmm…” while I am stalling for time to answer whatever she asked. Sometimes our banter wanders off into the weeds while I am thinking about what I am thinking about. (It is another comment of hers, “you are always thinking about what you are thinking about.”) She is right. I am not a spontaneous answer-er. I have several stall techniques.

She asks hard questions sometimes, often actually. Her questions are often feeling questions. The answers to which are very often hard to put into words. I will see her today. I look forward to our long conversations about life. She helps me to see how bright and cheery the world is even though Cheryl is not in it. For that I will be forever grateful.

Carpe Diem.