This year marks seventy-five trips around our star for me. That single fact is, to me, remarkable. I want to say that I had not thought about my birthday and the number of years but that is not true.

The first birthday I truly cared about was my fiftieth. Several important things happened that year to remind me that all is not permanent. Cheryl was almost taken from me that year. She was in a serious car accident that year. When I first saw her car afterward I was very surprised and elated to see her alive siting on the curb at the side of the road. Her injuries were such that she felt the need to find some none impactful aerobic exercise to recover. She settled on deep water aerobics and during the fall and winter became an avid fan. The accident had occurred in the spring and as she built herself back up in the summer I found myself accompanying her to the local YMCA where I found a trainer (a kid really) to help me discover a program that was more manly than deep water aerobics for me. I had become fat and slovenly in my forty-ninth year. It was time for a change.

Cheryl on the other hand dearly loved birthdays and celebrated everyone’s birthday with a vengeance. I think her mother gave her that feeling or thought about the importance of birthdays. It was not only birthdays, any family anniversary or event was very important to Cheryl. When her family stood around and sang happy birthday to anyone the song was ended with, “… and many more!”

Cheryl bought me a card some time ago which I found some few weeks before she died. On the front: “Thank you for finding me, charming me, and loving me. Thank you for making me laugh, for being there for me in so many ways, and for always being the best friend I need.” Inside: Dear Paul, (in her hand) “Thank you for making me feel like the luckiest person alive.” Love, Cheryl (in her hand). I keep this card on my bulletin board.

I do not remember nor do I think it is a birthday card but the sentiment goes with many occasions. It merely says “Thanks”. When I found this card a few months ago, I cried a little. This card was from her favorite Dollar store and even though it was an inexpensive one, she had managed to find one with, to me, a very moving message.

So with that same sentiment, Cheryl, I am sorry in many ways that you are not here with us still to celebrate my birthday with me. I am saddened that you were not here to celebrate your birthday in May. Nevertheless I am glad to have known you in this life and I look forward to reuniting with you in the next one. I love you and I keep your heart in my heart. One day our hearts will be together again.

Happy Birthday to me! … and many more.

Carpe Diem.