THOUGHT FOR TODAY:What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness? -Jean Jacques Rousseau, philosopher and author (28 Jun 1712-1778)

Serene, serenity and serendipity,  calm, calmness and a combination of events producing happiness might that be simply being kind to others around you in life? There is a quiet calm that comes with a kind act to another. A friendly smile, a cheery “Good Morning” or a happy wave to a neighbor, these are all simple kind acts that bring calm and lift one’s spirits.

In this new life of mine without Cheryl, I seek the serenity and serendipity of this next journey. I do not know what it will bring but Cheryl helped me to understand that living in the moment is key to living. Over the weekend I began the task of acknowledging the mound of cards, letters, well-wishes and memorials for Cheryl left from her celebration of life eight weeks ago. These days I feel a complicated mishmash of emotions. I suppose that is what grief is; a mishmash. I read in a book once, “grief is just love with no place to go.” Whether grief is merely leftover love or not, I do not know nevertheless grief is only part of my emotional upheaval. There is an emptiness, a hole, a gap in the schedule, a longing, a want for something different. There is a “no one to check with first” feeling that leaves me on my own to decide what to do about anything. I truly do miss her. At the same time I am gladdened by the fact that she is no longer suffering with Parkinson and dementia.

There is nothing on this calendar square and there is no one to ask, “What shall we do today, Dear?” I don’t want to fill my day with necessary but meaningless tasks like laundry and cleaning. I read some; both novels and not. I have several books of poetry and i pick one of them to read and think with and about. I journal although not as much as when Cheryl was still alive and I ponder as I write here.

She does talk to me and lately I have been dreaming about her. These are calm dreams. She has no Parkinson in her. She does not need my help. And when I awaken she stays with me for awhile in the morning.

Yesterday while looking through various memorial cards she directed my attention to this poem in one of them. She knows I like poetry. This was written by Anne Lindgren Davison. (Thanks, Anne.)

 I Am Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid, you see.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned around and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I've found the peace on a sunny day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joys.
A family shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Oh yes, these things, I too, will miss
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee.
God wanted me now; He set me free.

Poetry is for me a comfort. In this poem with its simplistic rhyme I hear Cheryl’s voice. This an example of her telling me to not be too sad because there is no Parkinson or dementia in heaven. For that I am grateful.

Carpe Diem.