I had a better memory of Cheryl’s funny little conversations that she and I have when we go out to eat or I drive her somewhere to be out of the house for a bit.

Over time – it took some time – I have come to understand the value of “going with it.” If Cheryl wants to call the painters tomorrow and get them going on painting our condo which is something she talks about occasionally, I merely respond with encouragement. Yes we should do that first thing tomorrow. I wish she did not have these odd thoughts but they are there. Those thoughts will be brand new tomorrow. Fresh to her. She will not ask why I did not call the painters, yet. She might not remember wanting to get the place repainted until next week. So I just go with it.

Her conversation on our way to somewhere is comical. It can be all over the place. It can be hard for me to keep up. She will tell me about cloud formations and what she sees in them. The next sentence might be let’s invite Mom for dinner tomorrow and maybe Jan will come. I talked to Jan this morning, she is moving to Florida. Alas both her mother and her sister Janice have passed from this life.

Earlier today I came back from riding my bike and she asked me if I had a good visit with Nancy. These questions which indicate confusion of previous conversations and where I disappeared to I will answer directly. I do not “go with it”. She accepts that.

I wish for a lot of things. As we take a walk today in great September weather in Ohio I wish she had more stamina. For the first time ever since I saw her sit and rest on her walker. She is doing the feet thing she does with her transfer chair. The walker is not as easy to control.

As she looks at her electronic picture frame full of photos I gleaned from Facebook and other sources she is anxious to make copies of the various photographs and give them to the people in the photographs. Cheryl does not understand where the pictures came from. I wish that she understood that, then maybe she would not be worried that others in her family may not have the photos.

I wish she was not confused but she is. When the medical student doing clinical work with Cheryl’s neuropsychologist yesterday asked her what month it is, she answered, May. This new doctor that Cheryl sees has a palliative care clinic. She wants to help Cheryl live her best life with her disease. I hope she is able to help Cheryl.

To Cheryl Christmas is next week. Maybe it will be.

Carpe Diem.